Confused/loner/cheater

I hate accepting I was perfectly normal,in the past few days.Loneliness can take you into a different world,where you realize there is nothing better than being a loner than stay around a mob of people who love putting enthu into your mind!I mean,I dunno how I tackle this,but it is an attitude problem.I love being a loner!I do.I hate being the one who is the joker of the group..or the one whose voice is louder than the rest,but the message is never transferred!Why do people pretend like they have golden halos on their heads,and bitch behind backs?And why are "those" people always one of your close pals?The previous two years were wrecked,all thanks to my college.And now once I'm out of college and when I'm searching for a "new life"...everybody think I'm "changing"! Yeah I am.I want to.I hate being the weird kid.I hate being the one who gets stuck in between situations always.
Why is everything around me weird?I avoid people.I hate conversing with them.I hate discussing
anything.I hate being around people.I'm loving everything I should be avoiding!

I just don like it.I am totally obsessed.Ahhh.Worst part is when "someone" is acting illogically possessive.Insecurity kills people.Bah.Please please..tell me this is a phase I'll get out of, in a few hours!

Snigdha.

WILL EVERYBODY PLEASE SHUT UP!??

Mood swing 1.

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers
when Our love is strong
Why carry on without me
Everytime I try to fly,
I fall Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly,
I fall Without my wings,
I feel so small I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby
I may have made it rain

Please forgive me My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry
At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away
And everytime I try to fly,
I fall Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby

And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

Really weird of me typing this up..but..something inside my head asked me to do it.
Felt this was the song of the moment.


Everytime,
Snigdha.

Sulkings.

This can't happen.I mean,I never had to stare at the monitor for about 3 minutes to think of what I am about to type. I just didn't need to think, before.Now I just run out of thoughts?
Met Rachana yesterday.Sweet little kid.Oh,sweet little tall kid. :P
Shopped.Ate.Celebrated. :P
Although,we ran from places to places, it was fun.Can't believe it ended too soon.Would love to meet you again.
Presently,reading about Chucky(child's play). Thank you Tejas, I might not sleep now BECAUSE of you asking me to read about the psychotic male doll!

Can anybody get me a pill which can cure me from the "i-am-really-pissed-off-with-my-life" syndrome?
Oh,Dhaval. Im so happy for you.Bipul,Wish you all the luck in the world.
Shrujan,get back soon with a lion cub for me or something! :P
Aarthi,Im praying.You know we'l fight and get what we want. :P
Mom, I love you.



Siri.

We.

We bug, we tease.
We sulk , we cheese.
We hug, we cry.
Nobody knows why!

We day-dream, we plan.
To stay together as much as we can.
We love, we share.
To cherish and care.

We yell, we talk.
No more alone i walk.
Cause love takes two,
And I pray nomore cause I have you.

Need I still tell you I love you?


Was saved for a long time, thought I'd make this my new post. Hardly any poetry in it, I know. :p
Wrote it one night, where I felt poetry rush into my blood.
Yes, I promise. I'll never write poems again without taking proper coaching. :)
And and and, no specific cause for writing this. :)


Love,
Pumpkin. (gah! I love my nicknames anyway! :P)

Birthday wishes.

Before I try to accept wishes from near and dear ones, I thought I'd wish myself for surviving 17 long years on this planet. Although 17 is not a big number, the number of experiences, good,bad,sweet,etc etc are big in number! I couldn't have made this far without you people.Thank you so so much for being there. I hope, I keep continuing this process, think-do-learn-survive.

Dad: I'm so glad I'm your daughter. It's such a huge responsibility I know. I'm so glad you were there for me all the time. I wouldn't know what I'd do without you. :)
Mom: You are someone I always admired, mom :). Although you guys will miss my birthday this time, I know how much you'd miss me there too.
Chins: You are my successor in devilish activities! I'm so proud you take after me;)...Love you loads.
The gang: You know me so well..I would have been an incomplete, blah-blah-blah girl if you guys wouldn't have been there for me.
Aarthi: You should have been my twin! God's forgotten to put both of us in the same womb, that's what I think. :P
Jahnavi: The psychologist of the gang. Goes bull's-eye on stuff she strongly stands on. An inspiration for the gang, and the "ideal" kid for the parents of the gang members. :P
Shrujan: MY best friend. Yes, Mine. No matter whatever happened, you always stood by my side. I'm so proud I've got you. My brother, my best buddy. Name it. He's always by my side.
Rahul: My look-alike. Err..or I'm his look-alike :P. Someone who goes for a deeper meaning everywhere. Someone who can understand you so well. Is always there to smile, and open his arms to give you one of his bear-hugs.:)
Amal: My big daddy! Yes, you should stop twisting my arm badly when I trouble you.
Malvika: You know you're the stylish one amongst all o us! :) The kid too :P.
Nikhil: You are the biggest clown of my life! Can't imagine myself laughing without you around! We met just a few months ago, but this special bond we share..believe me..You keep me away from all those things that stress me out! Thank-you for being there..for the "Right-time, right-place hugs!", for everything we ever did together! You make life a joy-ride. :)
Bipul: The one guy who can teach you physics,and pull your leg badly! This guy has a bitter-sweet sarcasm which irks you, but you can't help it! He's a lot brainier, which means he has to dominate! (case is different with me.:P I dominate although I'm not brainy as he is!). He's always awake to talk to you, and has changed a great deal since the past one year! One of the best guys i met! :) Thank-you for being there for me.
Sweety: You are the best counsellor I ever had. Thank you for listening to me and let me share my thoughts with you. Love you loads akka.(Love sunny too:P)
Rachana: We never met, never saw each other. All I know is, I love talking to her. The best friend i can have online!Always there to hear my woes..eerrr..I've sopped sulking though.:P Thank-you for being the wall, right when I was about to collapse!
Sai: Yeah, well You still remain the Best-brainy guy I ever met. Although things aren't smooth, You've been a great friend when I needed you to be. I'm glad we met.
Dhaval: Yeah Devil! You just made into my list of the best people I ever met! :P The only sensible guy of my class. (oh. Mr.bean, prashanth, and the good ones included too)
Fabulously designed brain he carries over his shoulders! Laughs away at things, where people would weep, cry, howl! I remember the times, I sulked, thinking nobody cared about me in the class..and you lecturing me on " Why you should never let jack-asses care for you!". :) Thank-you so much for inspiring me, Mr.Perfectionist!
Meg,Lisa,sayu: I wouldn't have been able to come to college at all, last year, if you guys wouldn't have been there to be by my side! :) Love you so much!
Aruna Aunty: My best-friend's mom! No, My best friend rather! One of the strongest lady I ever met. Strong by heart, mind and soul. My listener, my counsellor, my support. My guardian. Comes right after my parents to me. Love you loads aunty. :)
Anandita: :) You know..you made my life so beautiful! :) Thank you for being there. Thank-you Gokul.
Anandit: A blogger, with a unique style of writing. My guide to architecture. I would have been so hazy if you hadn't helped me with putting stuff into places, in my mind. :) Thank-you so much.
My Physics Sir in tuition: I never knew I'd like physics this much! Thank-you sir for curing me of this fear I had. Thank-you for making physics fun and life easy.
My teachers, my friends I haven't mentioned here..all of you..I thank you so so much for being there for me. I wouldn't have been what I am today without you people, directing me, and dumping so much of affection! Thank-you so much.

People I knew..for ages, and helped me grow..and never let me down..Thank you so so much!
People who let me down..ah..You've taught me a lesson, so you are a part of the above ones :).



Now, while I was writing this, one of my friends came home. I've gotta share it here..
The phone rang, and I was shocked to see him call at this time. Okay it's my birthday, but he'd be sleeping by now. And I was ordered to come downstairs! I was so shocked! He was telling me he had to do some job for his mom and all.I came down running. We caught up, and walked back to the terrace. I walked back inside the house..and when I came back..I saw the door to the terrace latched! What the hell!! And after sometime, they opened the door..all i could see were candles! My gosh! And he was sitting right there..beside the cake, with a guitar..:) I was so surprised! I ran into the house to get the knife..when i came back..I saw his cousin sitting down..waiting for me to cut the cake..Before I cut it, I was supposed to wish..as I wished..I could hear the guitar's strings strum a lovely tune..and he hummed a song..The sitting cousin, suddenly scratched a match..and there were colors in the sky! Rockets, flying in all directions! one at a time! As I watched..he pushed a present towards me...too many wrappers..at last, all I got was a fortune cookie and a toy! :P Another gift popped up! Shirts! My gosh! Is this how I wanted my day to start?? Terrific!
He was none other than my brother, friend, rock-solid support-Emmanuel! My tuition-mate. And his cousin, who looks like a bouncer at a Pub! :P
I was jumping with excitement! Couldn't imagine it would turn out this way! This will be the best birthday I ever had! Most memorable one!

Thank-you all for starting my day, ( not-yet started..:P but still!) terrifically!

Love you all,
Snigdha.

:) Can't wait till 30th. I'm going to be 17! Okay, hard to leave my 16 year-old days back. Birthdays are fun! Especially, when you know how you want that day to be!